The place: Old Admiral Pub

The meat: 8 oz. (approx.)

The fat content: Close to nil/evaporated

The fixin’s: Mashed potatoes, yorkshire pudding, frozen vegetables

The cost: $9.99 (only available Sundays)

You see the signs sprinkled sporadically throughout the city. Neighbourhood pubs and senior-friendly restaurants proclaiming cheap prime rib specials served on the weekends.

Intellectually, you know your 10 bucks at these establishments won’t get you the kind of prime rib that 10 bucks will get you in Las Vegas.

But emotionally? You can’t help but hear that tiny voice in your head telling you that maybe, just maybe, you’ve discovered a little piece of Vegas in your own backyard.

Which brings us to the Old Admiral Pub, a no-frills hotel pub in Burnaby with a sandwich board out front advertising a $9.99 prime rib dinner every Sunday. And, well, they certainly delivered what they promised.

The good:

• You can’t beat the price.
• The Yorkshire pudding was a pleasant surprise. Not a side you see that often. It was generously sized and tasty, too. I’d almost suspect it was made from scratch, if it weren’t for what the rest of the plate looked like (see below).
• The Old Admiral Pub is no stranger to serving raw meat – it used to be a strip club called the North Burnaby Inn.

The bad:

• The beef was served well-done, thus requiring more chewing than I would prefer.
• The fixin’s all came from a box, from the clearly artificial mashed potatoes to the frozen veggies that had been left soaking in the water until they lost every ounce of life.
• When I asked for some au jus, I was told the prime rib had already been soaked in it. But as mentioned, the meat was awfully well-done and dry. So I remain skeptical.
• I miss the NBI.

The verdict: One-and-a-half blown colons out of five

Well, you get what you pay for. I’m not going to complain about the quality because I knew what I’d be getting and it was certainly edible enough. Still, it also made one thing clear: the Canadian dollar may be approaching parity with the US dollar, but the $10 prime rib exchange rate still clearly favours the southern side of the border.

The place: The Keg (New Westminster location)

The meat: 24 oz. Keg Omega (also available as 10 oz. Small, 12 oz. Regular and … snicker … 16 oz. Keg Size)

The fat content: Medium

The fixin’s: Deep-fried onions, au jus and horseradish, choice of side (rice, potato – mashed, baked or double-baked)

The cost: $34.95

With restaurants coast-to-coast, the Keg is one of the most venerable sources of meat in Canada, appealing to a wide segment of the population from families to the middle class. If the Keg was a woman (and god knows I’ve had dreams about that), it would be the Girl Next Door: friendly, well-grounded, reliable.

But this girl next door has a naughty little secret.

You see, if you were to look at the Keg’s menu, you’d think your prime rib experience would peak at the Keg-Size (16 oz.). But what the Keg won’t tell you is that, upon request, they offer a fourth size: the Keg Omega, 24 ounces of beefy goodness.

Oh, yeah. IT’S ON.

The good:

• 24. Freaking. Ounces.
• Nice, light au jus. Horseradish cut pure – none of that overly creamy crap.
• When they say they’ll get you a rare cut of meat, they mean it.
• Attentive service, even during a packed house on New Year’s Eve.
• Great sides. I particularly recommend the double-baked potato (mashed potatoes mixed with bacon and stuffed back into a potato skin before getting re-baked).
• Seriously, dude. 24 freaking ounces.

The bad:

• It’s a really good piece of beef, but you’ll find some huge chunks of fat and the odd bit of gristle on your plate.

The verdict: Three-and-a-half blown colons out of five

Don’t believe what people say: size does matter. The Keg Omega takes a good prime rib and elevates it to … uh, really good … through sheer quantity. Now let’s bring on the 32-ouncer!

Expect posts to come irregularly, though. The blog is back, but the prime rib diet isn’t. Vancouver isn’t the Happiest Place on Earth, so I can’t exactly afford to get prime rib on a daily basis.

 Milad

… is still on a high.

Brice

 … said this before he died: “I regret nothing.”

Jen Au

… is finding it difficult to give up red meat.

But after Day 6, Milad had gained only two pounds (of rippling muscle, no doubt), while Brice’s weight remained steady.

Conclusion: the Prime Rib Diet is good for you.

Our favourite prime ribs in Las Vegas

1. Ellis Island

2. Four Queens

3. Bellagio

4. Wynn

11,736. Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall & Saloon

Our favourite buffets in Las Vegas

1. Wynn

2. Bellagio

Sadly, the in-flight meal on Philippine Airlines isn’t prime rib.

The place: The Buffet at Wynn

The time: 9:30 pm

The cost: $38.95

The fixin’s: Pretty much everything you could imagine

The good:

• Oh man, is that rack of lamb?
• Wow, this may be the first time I’ve enjoyed salad in my life
• I could eat about eight billion of those shrimp-filled wontons

The bad:

• The prime rib is sort of pedestrian. Just a bland chunk of roast beef, really.

The verdict (prime rib only): Two blown colons out of five

The buffet is so good it makes me want to use the word “exquisite” for the first time in my life. Which is why it’s so tragic the Wynn drops the ball on the prime rib. You did everything else so well – why did you have to slack off on the menu item that matters the most?

The place: 24 Hour Restaurant at Ellis Island Casino & Brewery

The time: 10:00 pm

The cost: $11.99

The fixin’s: Salad or soup, potato, vegetables, horseradish, soda or beer (!!!)

The good:

• Delicious, succulent meat
• Huge portions and tons of fixin’s
• Real, hot horseradish

The bad:

• The hour wait
• Medium rare cuts of meat were actually kind of rare
• Generous portions of delicious, succulent meat and tons of fixin’s interrupted the buzz from the beer

The verdict: Five blown colons out of five

Brice suggested this restaurant, which justifies Jen’s long-standing reverence towards him. Delicious beef, tons of side dishes, and beer for a low price; what more can you ask for?